


Feel the Rhythm in my Heartbeat

by CatcherOfFictionalDreams



Series: You Know It Will Always Just Be Me (EreJean One Shots) [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, and Eren is the guitarist, jean is the lead singer (and only singer), just fluff, shile Marco plays the drums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:07:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4969258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatcherOfFictionalDreams/pseuds/CatcherOfFictionalDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Jean have a little practice session before their finale at the big concert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feel the Rhythm in my Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Okay, so first of all, welcome! Second of all, I apologise profusely about the song below. It is in fact one I wrote for this fic, and I'm definitely admitting to being a shitty songwriter.  
> So please, remember that. And also, please leave feedback in the comments (about if the song's message is clear and just about the fanfiction in general).  
> Happy reading!

Chords echoed through the small room as Eren strummed fingers against his acoustic guitar's strings. He hummed the tune of the song Jean had written, nodding his head along as he got the chords correct.

A knock interrupted his practice, so Eren rose to open the oak door, twisting it's brass handle. Jean stood before him, looking rather sheepish. Eren wondered curiously what the hell Jean was doing here. After all, Eren still had a few hours before the band (which was literally just him, Jean and Marco) had their official practice.

"Jean, what're you-?"

"Hey, Eren," Jean interrupted, his hand smoothing his hair subconsciously.

Snickering, Eren threw his arm around Jean's shoulders and led him into the bedroom. His leg thrust backwards, shutting the door with a rather loud slam. Heading in the direction of Eren's little music spot - his window seat - he managed to knock his toes against about three things. As the duo walked by Eren's four post bed, his toe kissed (rather passionately, Eren thought) one of the said four posts. Not a minute later, his chest of drawers emerged as if out of nowhere, and Eren's toe went into its numb pain mode once more. Finally, as Eren levitated his feet to curl up on the window seat submerged in pillows, Eren's brain made his foot (the same one as always for that matter) bang (they were rather intimate) against the wooden support underneath the comfortable seat.

Cursing under his breath, Eren let his legs dangle in mid air (he was always too short for this awesome seat). Jean chuckled loudly, punching Eren lightly on his shoulder. Like the weirdo he was, Eren lifted his guitar and pulled it to his chest, nuzzling it.

"Eren, you're such a fucking dork," Jean noted, shaking his head a little.

"No kidding, dumbass."

"Asshole."

"Horseface."

"What the fuck, Jaeger? My face is too handsome to be like a horse!" Jean looked taken aback, but also cocky as fuck.

"Wow, rude much?" Eren stuck his tongue out at Jean. "Horses everywhere are crying because of you, Jean. _Crying_."

Rolling his eyes, Jean started picking at the skin beside his fingernails. Eren had noticed it was a nervous habit of Jean's. Which caused a question to appear in Eren's mind: what was Jean so nervous about? Taking a stab in the dark, Eren coughed to 'clear his throat'.

"So, er, how do you feel about the concert tomorrow night?"

Eren knew Jean had been stressing about it for weeks. Even Marco's reassurance had gone unnoticed by an anxious Jean.

Sighing, Jean shook his head. "I haven't slept well for days, Eren."

Eren nodded in understanding. Jean had always taken the burden of the band after being declared the leader. Therefore, Eren and Marco would be chilled whilst their stress head leader would be pacing back and forth for hours organising all kinds of musical shit.

"Well, it'll all be over in a few days," Eren tried for the optimistic outlook, which backfired immediately. Eren had never been an optimistic human, and everyone knew it.

"But if we do well, we'll be expected to do more large scale gigs, and if we're shit," Jean took a deep breath, a sign Eren knew as him holding back tears, "well, if we're shit, we'll get no more gigs. Zero. Naught. None, Eren!"

Hushing the now shaking Jean, Eren placed his hand on top of Jean's, gently squeezing it. With teary eyes, Jean lifted his sight to look at Eren for a second or two. Eren had never experienced the sight of Jean crying before. Jean was the kind of guy who'd either avert his eyes or run away when he started to get too close to crying.

"Hey, Jean," Eren tried to speak soothingly (not exactly his forte). "Jean? Jean, look at me."

After coaxing Jean to no avail, Eren placed his other hand beneath Jean's chin and lifted it. Jean tried to look away again, but Eren kept his hands where they were.

"Jean Kirstein, look at me, you heartless wannabe!" Eren let his voice become louder.

Thank God, Jean finally looked into Eren's eyes. Shit, that was unnerving. Without even realising it, Eren had managed to give Jean the image of a heartless bastard, just like Jean seemed to want. Taking a deep breath, Eren removed his hand from Jean's chin, and grasped both his hands, pulling Jean to his feet. Eren tried to keep his gaze steady, not letting his green eyes leave Jean's light brown ones.

Sighing, Eren pulled Jean closer to him, until his chest was pressed against Jean's. His arms went around Jean's neck. After a moments hesitation, he felt Jean's arms wrap around Eren, and his fingers entwine at the small of Eren's back.

"We'll do well, Jean," Eren whispered in Jean's ear, standing on his toes a little. "With you as our leader, we can't fail, okay? Marco would agree, trust me."

Sniffs were heard from above Eren, and he felt Jean's embrace on him loosen, finally pulling away. Jean wiped his tears away, trying for a confident smile. Eren almost wanted to laugh and kiss the big idiot. Wait, no. Not kiss, but laugh and then maybe punch him for being so stupid? No, Eren definitely didn't want to kiss Jean, of course not.

Jean sat back down on the window seat, and picked up Eren's guitar. Eren never let anyone touch his guitar. It was expensive and needed to be protected by Eren; plus he could never trust anyone to handle the guitar with enough care. Strangely enough, Eren felt like he could trust Jean now. After Jean had let his emotions go like that? Of course Eren felt closer to the stupid dork.

"Can I try and play it?" Jean inquired.

One thought went through Eren's head as he nodded, moving forward to assist: he _definitely_ wanted to kiss Jean.

-

"And that's C, right?" Jean asked for what seemed to be the thousandth time.

"Jesus fuck, Jean. C was the first chord I showed you!" Eren shook his head in exasperation. He may love Jean, but said horseface was a challenge to teach. Oh God, Eren had let the l-word slip. It didn't matter that he hadn't said it, he'd still _thought it_. And soon enough, he'd end up saying it if he didn't watch his stupid big mouth.

"I think I'll just leave the guitar to you, Eren," Jean sighed, moving the guitar to rest on Eren's lap.

"Jean, why did you come here?" Eren had forgotten to properly ask what with the crying and all.

"Just to, um, check on you?" Jean fidgeted with his fingers again.

God, he was cute. Eren's heart leapt unexpectedly, taking in every inch of Jean. His well-brushed hair, his beautiful eyes, his long face, and of course his hands. Eren's heart ached like crazy when he looked at Jean; he couldn't bear to hide it from Jean anymore.

"Jean, you could've called me or sent me a text. And what about Marco?" Eren shook his head again, wanting so desperately to kiss Jean. His heart yearned to beat faster in exhilaration when Eren would kiss Jean. Eren fantasised about it absentmindedly. He'd just have to lean over, and close his eyes, and whisper "I love you, Jean", and then-

"Eren?" Jean looked at Eren in concern.

"W-what?' Smooth, Eren. Real fucking smooth.

"Oh, you didn't hear?" Jean seemed relieved, like he'd been holding a piss in, and he'd finally let it out.

"Wait, that's the thank-God-you-didn't-hear tone," Eren glared at Jean. "What did you say, Jean?"

"Nothing important." Was Jean blushing? _Fuck_ , he was.

Well, there's only one thing to do now. Eren leaned closer. Jean looked slightly alarmed. Grinning from ear to ear, Eren's arms shot out to attack Jean's sides. He'd found about how goddamn ticklish Jean's sides were about six months prior.

Gently pushing Jean onto the carpeted floor, Eren proceeded with the torture that would get him some answers.

Jean suddenly starting writhing and flailing around, shaking with silent laughter. "F-fuck you, Jaeger."

"You wish you could, Kirstein," Eren retorted automatically.

Jean looked like an animal caught in headlights.

"Jean, look I have something to tell you-"

Lips were pressed softly against Eren's. They had to be Jean's, but why would Jean kiss Eren? Jean was _way_ too attractive for Eren; definitely out of his league. But no, they were definitely Jean's lips. Eren started moving his lips against Jean's, letting out little moans every now and again. Self-consciously, Eren realised he was on top of Jean, like literally _on top of him_.

Unusually, Eren didn't care. All he knew and cared about was that he was kissing the boy of his dreams. The muffin top haired boy he'd had a crush on for years. And now, said boy was beneath Eren, _kissing him_. It seemed insane, like one of Eren's fantasies - but it wasn't. It was completely and utterly real.

-

"And now, back to Waiting For The Stars and their final song!" An announcement echoed out of the stadium's loudspeakers.

Eren still remembered why they'd named their band that. When they'd first decided to make a band, Jean, Marco and himself would only meet when the stars covered the night sky. That way, no one would be able to see them. They also agreed nighttime was the best time to think, and therefore the best time of day to write out songs.

Jean stepped forward towards his microphones. Eren stood a little to his left, while Marco was further back on the stage, off to Jean's right and behind a set of drums.

Eren remembered the shock of knowing that his and Jean's innocent angelic friend could play rock songs on a drum set. That had been one weirdass Sunday.

"This last song is dedicated to a special someone," Jean spoke into the microphone, winking at the audience.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Eren adjusted his guitar to a more comfortable position. Jean always tried to play the flirty bad boy supreme role, and of course he'd managed to send (a majority of) the audience into a series of squeals and shrieks. Eren would never understand teenage girls.

Strumming the first few bars of the song, Eren kept his mouth near the microphone, ready to join Jean during the choruses.

Jean started singing shortly after, his voice a rough rasp with a soft vulnerability that you wouldn't notice if you didn't really listen.

"Hold on, let me breathe, 

Your comments, curses, pleads,

They all are wasted on me.

Nothing you say will take away,

What seed has been planted.

Once my roots are stuck,

There's nothing that can be done.

Don't. Keep. Holding me.

Let me go and leave me be.

Though my soul will be reaped,

It will not be by you.

So unchain my feet,

And let me soar,

Watch me roar.

Not yours anymore.

I was never one of you,

You were never one of me,

So just,

So just,

So just let me soar free.

I would say it wasn't always like this,

I would say it was all you.

But I know better,

Than you ever did, and that you do.

Release me from the bonds,

Of your ways of normality.

You may want me like that,

But there's something you cannot see...

Don't. Keep. Holding me.

Let me go and leave me be.

Though my soul will be reaped,

It will not be by you.

So unchain my feet,

And let me be soar,

Watch me roar.

Not yours anymore.

I was never one of you,

You were never one of me,

So just,

So just,

So just let me soar free.

I wish I could live your normal life,

Without people coming after me with strife.

But now it's past 11:11 and it's too late for wishes,

So I just gotta pretend life is fine while doin' the dishes.

Nothing can make my life okay now,

Nothing can take back what has come to pass.

I know your love for me won't last,

When you realise who I am.

Don't. Keep. Holding me.

Let me go and leave me be.

Though my soul will be reaped,

It will not be by you.

So unchain my feet,

And let me be soar,

Watch me roar.

Not yours anymore.

I was never one of you,

You were never one of me,

So just,

So just,

So just let me soar free."

Cheering and applause roared through the stadium, followed by a chant of "Jean! Jean! Jean!"

After a few minutes of cheering without the sound dying, Jean rose his arms, motioning for silence. The gesture worked, as the voices and sound of (probably red) hands clapping dulled until no sound could be heard.

"So, take from that song what you will, I have an announcement of my own to make," Jean seemed to stop breathing. His hands clenched into fists, his short fingernails probably making shallow dents in his palms. "I-I'm gay."

Then, without any notice or warning Jean turned and pulled Eren towards him. Eren could feel Jean's shaking hand take his steady one, and he squeezed Jean's hand, wanting Jean to be calm. As if his coming out wasn't enough, Jean tugged Eren closer, closer, closer, until his lips met Eren's in a slow and sensual kiss that Eren didn't want to end.

The cloak of silence left the stadium as cheering erupted from the crowd, girls (probably) squealing at the probability of a new gay couple to make creepy edits of on Tumblr. Eren pondered on that. He wouldn't mind a bunch of girls drawing nude portraits of him and Jean, or would he?

Disposing the thoughts, Eren lost himself in Jean. His lips, his hands now on Eren's hips, and his voice. His raspy voice (singing a shit load of songs can do that to a guy's throat) whispering sweet nothings in Eren's ear. And then suddenly, the sweet nothings contained one of the worst but best phrases Eren will ever hear. It wasn't just the phrase though, the three little words. It was because Jean was the one who uttered them, and Jean meant the world to Eren.

"I love you" was what Eren had always imagined Jean would say, but it wasn't. And although Eren was originally disappointed, he knew the three words Jean spoke meant more to him than what "I love you" would have.


End file.
